The Dillier Man Blog

To My Son Alex on His Fifth Birthday

September 25, 2010

Dear Alex,

I can’t believe that you are five years old already, son. Your birth still remains a very vivid memory to me. The surreal feeling of watching a new human that I helped create come into the world is something very, very hard to describe, but I remember like it was a minute ago. At that moment, your head was quite cone shaped and you were purple, a real alien-looking child. They took you over to a scale, wiped you off, and stuck your feet in ink. The nurse asked if I wanted a stamp of your foot on my hand, and I said, “Yes!” I didn’t wash the top of my hand for a few days after that.

Now here you are, a real boy. A true kid. My little man. I am so proud of you and who you are. You have a great heart that shows in the way you are with other people. You understand sharing and helping other kids. You melt my heart every time you, at random, tell me you love me. Sometimes when you’re mad, you will tell me or other people that you don’t love us. You don’t yet understand how hurtful of a thing this is to say to someone, but I know exactly why you do it. You say it because it’s the worst possible thing you can think of since, even at your age, you know what it means to say that you love someone.

I have to admit, I have felt a little disappointed at times that you seem so different from me. But then I realize that a lot of the differences are just you being fortunate enough to not have inherited some of my less desirable traits. I can’t imagine you ever being lazy and self-centered like me. Unlike me, you are very gregarious and eager to meet and talk to new people. Your mommy says that you remind her a lot of her dad, whose name is your middle name, which is great. From what I’ve heard about him, he seems like he was an awesome guy. I hope that means that you will grow up to be thinner and taller than me. With luck, a lot taller. You are very creative, and you sure didn’t get that from me. I thought that your early fascination with balls meant that you would be into sports, but you say that watching them with me is boring. You do like playing games, though. You still may enjoy playing sports down the road, but I will love you forever just as much if you never get into sports. I certainly am glad that you aren’t just a clone of me. Here’s hoping that my acne skips you over too, although it looks my asthma may not have.

You really enjoy gathering stuff and putting things in containers like plastic bags and boxes. Mommy says that this is because you are like me since I like to collect stuff, but I don’t think so. I always played with my toys as toys, and you seem to only like toys for their value in being objects to gather and put in things. I do find myself, at times, watching you organize your toys and thinking how I would do it exactly the same way, so maybe you get that part of it from me.

In a lot of ways you remind me of my dad. You don’t really like to be stationary for very long. I imagine, like him, you will grow up to feel anxious any time you aren’t doing stuff. Hopefully the two of you will have plenty of opportunities down the road to spend time doing stuff together.

It is hard for me to watch how you interact with your little brother sometimes, when you push him down, take things away, hurt him, or make him cry. I get angry at you, but I think I am just feeling angry at myself because I used to treat my little brother the same way. Brothers are one of the most important things in the world. I know that growing up you will not understand this very well because I didn’t either. Just know that you and your brother will need to be there for each other in the future, and your job is to always look out for him.

There are other things you do that I think are pretty neat. I like how you like to see yourself in videos. I like how self-confident you are, acknowledging most compliments with “Yes I am” or “I know.” I try to teach you to say thanks when people say nice things about you, but it’s okay that you don’t understand to do that yet. I like how you like getting tattoos. I like how you know to shake grown-ups hands when you first meet them. I like how you introduce yourself to new kids you meet at the playground with “My name is Alex.” I like how sometimes you come over and sit on top of me when we’re watching TV. I like how you take my hand when we’re walking around out in public so that I can make sure you are safe.

Alex, I love you more than I could ever describe or that you possibly could comprehend. In just five short years, you have become a very important part of my life – beyond just me being your dad and you being my son. I cannot envision life without you in it, nor do I care to. I am so happy to be privileged enough to spend my life with you.

Love,

Your Dad

The Things I Wanted to Tell You, Grandma

Dear Grandma Bennett,

In the dictionary of my life, your photo is the one used in the entry for the word “love.” There is nobody else in the world who I ever felt more love from than you. Unconditional and unwavering.

Just a week-and-a-half before you died, you still took the time to call me up on Father’s Day. In your message you said you hadn’t been doing well lately and were sorry for missing my birthday a couple days prior. Of course you told me you love me. I wish I had caught that phone call. I wish I would have called you at any time during the previous couple of weeks when I was thinking that I should. I never got to hear about your trip to the U.K. I’m so glad you went, you deserved it.

As soon as I found out how bad you were doing, I booked a flight to come and see you. I guess you couldn’t wait for me. You once made me promise you that if you were old and senile and living in a rest home that I would come visit no matter how hard it was to see you like that. I actually feel good that it never came to living like that for you. I suspect that you would agree that it was best to go when you were still on top of your game.

Grandmas are arguably the most important people in the world. Their job is to lavish love on their grandchildren, to offer a sanctuary from the rigors of life. You fit that role so very well. In my mind you are the role model for grandmas the world over.

Thanks for taking me with your family to Disneyland when I was five. Thanks for making me cinnamon toast when I stayed with you in the summer and calling it “Johnny Toast.” Thanks for the Happy Meals. Thanks for letting me come with you to go pick Grandpa up from work. Thanks for including a little something for all of us kids whenever you would send birthday presents down to Cedar City. Thanks for the great Christmas presents that you couldn’t afford. Thanks for making the time to talk to me on every birthday and every Father’s Day.

I’m going to miss you for the rest of my life.

I love you,
John

Best Birthday Present Ever!!!

(Because my son Max was born on June 18th, the day after my birthday, or else he would be number one. Well, I guess the Millennium Falcon playset that my Grandma Dillier shipped to my house in Cedar City for my 8th birthday was pretty damn awesome too. And the birthday collage that Alex made for me over the fireplace last night was really great. But this is definitely in the top 5.)

The Utah Utes announced today that they have accepted the Pac-10’s invitation to become the conference’s 12th team (yeah, I hope they rename the conference). I am so incredibly excited!!!

My wife and I moved to Oregon, Pac-10 country, to upgrade our lives. Now my beloved Utes are making a similar upgrade. We’ll have at least a couple opportunities every year to go to games at Oregon, Oregon State, Washington, or Washington State (depending on how the divisions are worked out). I’ll get to see pretty much every Utah game on TV. The Utes will have better recruiting opportunities and all the prestige of being in a major “BCS” conference.

I’ll miss the Mountain West Conference, a little. We had some good contests over the years with Colorado State and Air Force. TCU has become a powerhouse, and I’ll miss getting to play them every year. With Boise State joining the conference next year, it was poised to be a pretty awesome league. However, I won’t miss playing the much weaker teams. The Pac-10 has great teams pretty much top-to-bottom, and there won’t be any “extra BYE weeks” during the season like the MWC schedule provided.

I won’t have to miss the BYU rivalry, I bet. I imagine that we’ll be on each other’s non-conference schedule year-in and year-out. (We’ll probably still play Utah State every year too – yawn.) I’ll miss having the BYU game played at the end of the season, but playing in September may just enhance the rivalry (though, I suppose, they could still do an end-of-year thing like Florida/Florida State). There will be all summer to trash talk (and BYU fans will have a gigantic chip on their shoulders about not getting a big conference invite), and both teams are guaranteed to still have a lot to play for that early in the season. I also envision that a new rivalry will bloom with fellow Pac-10 newbies in Colorado.

Sure, it may be some years before Utah sees another BCS game with the much stiffer competition (haha, I said “stiff”) in the Pac-10, but for Ute fans here on the West coast (and back in Utah too) this is a dream come true. Happy Birthday to me!!!

Circumcision

He’s a newborn baby boy. He’s so completely and utterly powerless. He can’t say no. He can’t make a case with mommy and daddy to let him keep his foreskin.

I can’t comprehend the continued practice of circumcision in America. Well, I guess if it’s for religion I understand, because people do all sorts of zany things in the name of religion. But for people whose religion doesn’t require circumcision?

“It’s best for his health.” “It’s cleaner.” “It’s safer.” “He won’t feel like an outcast when he’s older.” “He won’t have to be embarrassed with the ladies.” I have hope that circumcision will go the way of slavery in this country. It too was inherently wrong, and it just took time for our society to no longer justify its practice.

Do people suppose that this baby boy who is screaming bloody murder as a huge chunk of functional genital tissue gets sliced off his body doesn’t really feel the pain? Or is that it just doesn’t matter how awful an experience it is because he’s a newborn and won’t remember? But who can say what permanent effect that kind of trauma has on him psychologically? Parents who choose to circumcise should be forced to both be present during the procedure so they can witness how their son responds to it. I suspect that they won’t see or hear him scream quite that same way ever again.

I wish I could have had the choice to have foreskin. I’m glad that my boys will (I think it’s enough that they didn’t get a say in what they are named). Maybe as adults they’ll want to lop it off anyways, but at least they can make that decision for themselves.

I am really sad for my new nephew, born yesterday. As his uncle, I feel like I should try to intervene on his behalf. I won’t, though. My sister and her husband are really good people and I know they feel that they are doing the right thing. I just think that one day parents won’t have to wrestle with the decision because circumcisions just won’t be done anymore. Our society has always evolved, and it will continue to do so.

Merry Christmas! Love, A Non-Believer

I love the holiday season. Thanksgiving is a stand-alone holiday and is awesome in its own right. But, once it’s over, and Black Friday begins, the “Holidays” officially commence. I count Black Friday as the first of the “Holidays” because it so much highlights one of the things I love most about the season: Capitalism baby! America is all about people trying to sell stuff to each other.

 

This truly is the “most wonderful time of the year” when people of all walks of life to try to get along better with each other. We give to and receive from each other. How awesome are PRESENTS!!! Everyone has a special day of their own each year to get presents: birthdays. The Holidays are a time for everyone to not only get but also to give each other PRESENTS!!! It is also a time to reflect on and discuss all the happened in our lives, both good and bad, during the year.

 

I really enjoy making and keeping traditions. The holiday season has some awesome ones, including: reveling in the novelty of snow and cold before both wear out their welcome and we wish it would just be Spring already; putting up and trimming the tree; hearing holiday music all month; celebrating the Winter Solstice and how daylight will only start to get longer from there; and kissing under the mistletoe.

 

My favorite holiday of all falls on December 25^th: the day known as Christmas. The family traditions of my childhood were centered on that day: from getting up first thing in the morning to dash to waiting presents to later on having dinner with loved ones. For non-Christians it can be awkward to celebrate a holiday called “Christmas.” Many of us choose to stick with the general refrain of “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” But the thing is that people were making merry on December 25^th long before there was a Jesus.

 

I encourage anyone reading this to check out this page on the website of a Christian group called “The Restored Church of God”:  http://www.thercg.org/books/ttooc.html This article essentially damns Christians for celebrating a holiday that was not theirs to begin with and one that Christ himself would frown upon his followers celebrating. I personally wouldn’t want Christians to feel bad for trying to celebrate their lord and savior during this season. In fact, I have a lot of respect for Christians who are devout enough to try to “put the Christ in Christmas” in spite of how difficult it is to do so when everything about this season is based in very non-Christian origins.

 

The non-religious nature of Christmas is truly evidenced in an American culture where neither “The Christmas Song” (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) nor “A Christmas Story” (you’ll shoot your eye out!) have anything to do with Jesus or religion. Most telling is the fact that the word “Christmas,” though it contains the word “Christ,” and whose etymology comes from the Old English for “Christ’s mass,” is actually pronounced “ˈkris-məs.”

 

So, my Christian friends and family members, you can have your angels, Silent Night, Joy to the World, and nativity scenes. My family and I will take the rest because it doesn’t belong to you exclusively.

 

Merry Christmas!

I'm still alive. I'm on facebook.

John L. Dillier | Create Your Badge

13 and Oh It Feels So Good

I guess I had bought into what all of the TV analysts were saying. Utah didn't have a chance to beat Alabama. It's funny, any of the analysts who suggested that Utah could even make a game out of it only did so in an embarrassed sort of "I hope my colleagues don't make fun of me" kind of way. Once again this season our Utes transform my despair about their chances of victory into pure, crimson-colored joy.

Barry Switzer, you are an A-1, First Class JACKASS. Sure, none of Utah's team would have been recruited by Alabama. I doubt that Alabama is doing a lot of recruiting out here in the mountain west, YOU ASS. But, if all it takes to destroy Alabama's offense is to have to turn to a couple of second stringers on the o-line (as Nick Saban suggested after the game), then maybe they should come recruit here.

It was entertaining to watch Switzer and Jimmy Johnson have to eat crow after the game. After what we did to the vaunted Crimson Tide, they had no choice but to acknowledge that Utah is one of the best teams in the country. Too bad we don't get a chance to really prove that we are the best. All we could do this year is beat every single team we played. And, oh by the way, we are the only team to have done that this season. Down Air Force, BYU (you ass monkeys should have beaten Arizona), TCU, Oregon State, Alabama, and everyone in between. I would put our schedule this year up against anyone else's.

Brian Johnson, I am going to miss you. But I hope I don't end up missing you too much. The Utes have an incredible opportunity next year. They should be ranked decently in the pre-season polls. Another undefeated season, and they should get a shot at the national championship game. It will be tough as not only will they play at BYU and at TCU, but they will also host Louisville from the Big East and have away games at San Jose State and Oregon. The core of an outstanding defense is coming back, so we'll just need to see how things work out at QB and WR.

In the meantime, it's time to take in and savor this incredible season. We earned our shot to play one of college football's big boys in a major bowl game, and we took advantage of the opportunity. 31-17. 13-0. GO UTES!!!

Goodbye 2008!!!

Wow. 2008. It was a pretty good year. I got a nice promotion at work. My wife gave birth to our second child and without getting an epidural. The election was awesome to follow and was pretty darn historic in its outcome. Nice year.

Not quite. My dog-brother Grizz had to be put down. My Grandma Dillier died. Our baby boy was nearly killed a day after his birth by a silly mistake. Then, unthinkably, my mom died. The best part of 2008 for me is that it is now over without any further shit.

Anyhow, I love all the top ten lists of stuff from the previous year, so I had to come up with my own. I give you my TOP TEN SPORTS MOMENTS OF 2008!

JOHN DILLIER’S TOP 10 SPORTS MOMENTS OF 2008

10. My Rare Athletic Feat: The Frisbee Toss
If I were as good at playing sports as I am at watching them, I would be very, very wealthy. As it is, I only have rare shining moments of sports glory. This year I attended GEEX: the Gaming and Electronics EXpo with some buddies from work. One of the booths handed out some foldable floppy frisbees. We decided to attempt to toss them up into the opening atop KSL TV’s trailer. My toss curved up and away from the trailer, then bent back down and straight into the hole. All were impressed with my skill. I would never be able to duplicate the feat if I tried, but I was a sports stud for that one moment in time.

9. Real Salt Lake Makes the Playoffs
This one would be ranked higher, except that I didn’t actually get to see it. It was on cable, and, due to cutbacks in the Dillier household, we didn’t have cable anymore (we now do have basic analog cable back). I had to read about the outcome of the RSL vs. Colorado Crapids season-ender after the fact. Yura tapped in a rebound from a Andy Williams blast that was deflected by the goalie. This happened in the 90th minute of the game and gave RSL the draw and point that it had to have to make the playoffs. After three disappointing first seasons, MLS playoff soccer had arrived in Utah.

8. Helmet Catch Guy
We had a fun get-together at our place for the annual Super Bowl party. Super Bowl XLII was supposed to be a blowout and the crowning of the first undefeated team since 1972. But, the Giants weren’t going to cooperate in the Patriots’ coronation. The Patriots held a slim 7-3 advantage going into the fourth after three quarters of defensive goodness. The Giants would score a touchdown and then the Patriots would answer, taking a 14-10 lead with 2:42 remaining. Eli Manning (who earlier in the season was making me wonder how he could possibly be Peyton’s brother with how sucky he played) drove the Giants down the field. On a 3rd and five, after somehow avoiding a sack, Manning threw up a prayer to some dude (David Tyree, but I totally had to look up that guy’s name) who caught the ball on his helmet for a 32-yard completion. The Giants would go on to score the winning touchdown. I still can’t believe that they won that game.

7. The Jazz Send Tracy McGrady Home Again
In their opening round playoff series, the Jazz took the first two games in Houston. Everyone started talking sweep, but then Houston took game three in Salt Lake, just the Jazz’s fifth home loss all year. The Jazz won game four but were then embarrassed with a 26 point loss in Houston in Game 5. The Jazz came home and won the series in Game 6, though, sending McGrady home with yet another first round elimination. He still has never won a playoff series in his career.

6. The Sierra Mist Goal of the Year
My brother J.P. and I attended the second ever game at Rio Tinto Stadium as F.C. Dallas came into town to face Real Salt Lake. The game was huge for RSL as they had to get a win in order to have a shot at getting into the playoffs. Dallas scored first and quickly. Yura Movsisyan equalized for RSL in the 35th minute. Then, at halftime, I bought my first ever beer at an RSL match (actually, J.P. bought it). I was still getting the beer started when, in the 54th minute, Will Johnson scored an unbelievable goal. He got a pass from outside the area, flicked it one time in the air, and then volleyed a rocket into the goal. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. On the MLS website it was voted as the goal of the year. The goal gave RSL the lead which they wouldn’t lose, winning a match they had to and making the last game of the season the next week in Colorado a very, very important one.

5. The BYU Game
I was extremely nervous about this game. We had lost to stupid BYU the previous two seasons. They are a good team. They kept things close, making it a just a three point Utah lead in the third. But then the wheels fell off the Cougar-mobile. The Utes would go on for an easy 48-24 victory after scoring three unanswered touchdowns in the forth. Some BYU fans had scored the seats next to ours (nice people by the way, and not afraid to swear at their team which I like to see), and they disappeared without a trace about halfway into the last quarter. Utah earned their undefeated regular season, and it was great to see everyone storm the field yet again this year (like after the Oregon State and TCU games). The best part was that I didn’t have to sweat over another Utah game in the final minutes.

4. Trevor Time One Last Time
The San Diego Padres had a horrible season. Heading into their final series of the year, they had to at least beat the Pittsburgh Pirates once in order to avoid 100 losses for the season. We made our annual trip to San Diego the week of that last series. They lost the first game of the series. We had tickets for the second game. In that game, the Padres scored three runs in the 1st inning. Woo hoo! They wouldn’t score again. The Pirates scored once in the 3rd and again in the 8th to make the score 3-2 going into the ninth inning. For a long time in San Diego baseball, a slim lead in the ninth meant one thing: TREVOR TIME. Trevor Hoffman came out to AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells as he had for years. He was able to get the save, giving the Padres the win they needed to avoid the dreaded 100-loss mark. Since then the Padres have retracted their contract offer to Hoffman, which means we likely saw his last ever save in a San Diego uniform.

3. The Oregon State Game
Oregon State came into Rice-Eccles Stadium the week after they knocked off number one USC. The game was pretty back-and-forth. Brian Johnson was horrible in the third quarter. The fourth quarter wasn’t much better, and Oregon State scored a touchdown with 2:18 left to go up 28-20. Fans around us got up and walked out at that point. You know, the state of Utah has a lot of jackass sports fans. Anyways, I myself also figured the game was over, but I didn’t consider leaving when we were only a touchdown and 2-point conversion away from tying the game. The problem was that I didn’t trust Johnson to get a first down, much less a touchdown. Well, Brian played out of his mind, drove the Utes down the field, and scored a touchdown. His pass for the 2-point conversion was incomplete, but Oregon State was called for Pass Interference, and we scored on the second try, tying the game. The Utes held the Beavers to three-and-out on their next possession, and then were able to drive down into range for the Louie (LOO-EEE!!!) Sakoda game winner. Wow, what a game!

2. Rio Tinto Stadium Opens
Having a permanent home for our top tier soccer team was a dream come true for me. Real Salt Lake is here to stay. Walking inside the stadium and into the seats was one of my favorite sports moments ever. The field was beautiful (and only soccer lines!). The sight lines were amazing. This is what watching a soccer match is supposed to be like. The rest of the night was a bit rough as our children were difficult, and RSL could muster only a draw against the Red Bulls. I will never forget walking into that stadium for the first time, though. OUR major league soccer stadium. Thanks, Salt Lake County tax payers!

1. The TCU Game
The much-hyped “blackout” game. TCU went up 10-0 in the first quarter. Things looked pretty grim at that point. Utah managed a couple of field goals before halftime to make it a 10-6 game, but I was very worried about our chances. The end zone seemed like a dreamland we would never see this game. Nobody scored in the third and for much of the fourth. TCU missed two seemingly easy field goals after the Ute defense stepped up to stop TCU drives. The second miss gave Brian Johnson the ball at the Utah 20 with 2:48. He drove the team down, including a season-saving 4th down conversion, to score the winning touchdown. Once again, Utah had won a game that I had given up on. I got a little emotional about it, which is lame, but understandable considering what was happening in my personal life at the time. It was a bright moment of happiness to replace much sadness. I was mourning a huge personal loss, and I had already begun to mourn the loss of Utah’s perfect season before they pulled this one out for me.

I Rule

Yeah, that's right. I was 100% right on all of my BCS bowl predictions. Now I just get to be nervous for a few weeks about how Utah will do against Alabama. Wow, we're really playing Alabama. In a bowl game. Wow.

In other news, The Dark Night comes out on blu-ray today. Totally picking that one up tonight with what's left from my sold-stuff-on-eBay play funds.

My BCS Bowl Predictions

I had to put up a post about how I predict the BCS bowl pairings, to be announced 6 pm Utah time on Sunday, will shape up and where Utah will go.

Fiesta Bowl: Texas vs. Ohio State
I see Oklahoma beating Missouri easily Saturday in the Big 12 (stupid) Championship (lame that Missouri can still play their way into the BCS). That leaves Texas as a very sexy pick for the Fiesta (who get first pick) who have a Big 12 tie-in. They need an at-large to pit against the Longhorns, and I think they'll go with 2-loss Ohio State over Utah (or even Boise State who is still in the conversation after finishing undefeated too). The Buckeyes are too big a name in college football for them to pass on.

Orange Bowl: Crap Big East Champion vs. Crap ACC Champion
Who gives a crap which teams play in this one? (Cincinnati has clinched the Big East title if you do care.) I'm just so very, very happy that it sounds like Utah won't have to play a stupid 3-loss-barely-in-the-top-25 team like Pitt this time.

Rose Bowl: USC vs. Penn State
USC should take care of business against UCLA this year and will thus face Penn State, the Big Ten champs, in the "granddaddy of them all."

Sugar Bowl: Utah vs. Alabama
Florida is going to just demolish 'Bama on Saturday. That will send the Crimson Tide to the Sugar Bowl which has an SEC tie-in. Here is where I think Utah will end up. At first I didn't think that the Sugar would want to go with another non-BCS team this year after Hawaii's blow-out loss to Georgia last year, but Utah will be the best available after the Fiesta takes Ohio State. Finally, the Utes will get the matchup against a Top 10, sexy conference school that they deserve. I sure hope they make the most of it.

National Championship Game: Florida vs. Oklahoma
I sort of hope that Florida will lose to Alabama Saturday to set up the "Urban Meyer Bowl" vs. Utah in the Sugar Bowl, but they aren't going to. Oklahoma, after somehow finishing ahead of Texas, a team that beat them earlier this season, gets their shot to get to the title game, and they will take care of Missouri Saturday.